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Friday, 30 November 2012

Oop north


as most of my readers know, I live in the sunny south of England. However I’m now visiting my son in the North of the country. on the way up, Mrs FE and myself were quite shocked at so many areas were underwater to some depth.

Today we visited that fine old city of York to do some early Christmas shopping in the St Nicholas Christmas market fair. It didn’t bode well from the beginning when we boarded the train from Darlington to York, and discovered it was packed to the Gunwhales (seafaring term for chockerblock), due to delays in the trains caused by the flooding.

On arriving in York we were met by icy cold winds and this blogger was quite happy to suggest to Mrs FE that she desperately needed to look in various shops for gifts. Just so he could retreat from the cold.

After some hours of shopping I think we were all glad to go back to my son’s house. But I was wondering if I would suffer the same fate as the day before.

On arrival at my son’s house on the,Thursday evening, the boy stated that the boiler wasn’t working as it had tipped out on low water pressure, and would i just top it up as he was going to make us tea.

Dead simple in practise. Not this bloody time. On opening it up a plastic fitting blew apart and ended up soaking yours truly with freezing water before I managed to close the valve. The plastic fitting was resecured but the next problem was that the endlessly butchered valve was found to be impossible to open.

Now by this time FE is not only cold but also wet and thought it imperative that we source a new valve from the local DIY superstore. And this we did. Having arrived back at the son’s place, fitted the new valve, shivering by now, I instructed my son to switch on the boiler.


Now most people would be reaching for the phone by now, but fortunately this problem is known and can be easily rectified. The problem is a sticky air flap valve. Solution is to break out the hairdryer strategically kept under the stairs and aim it for a few minutes at the offending area of the boiler. boiler will roar into life. Prayers of thanks my now be said.

The moral of this rambling post (fuelled by the famous grouse cheaper whisky, is that modern houses cannot exist without central heating as they usually have no means of heating without it.

So at least those of you who don’t have a fireplace go out and buy yourself a fan heater or two. especially as most pundits are predicting a cold winter this year.

Where’s that bloody Global Warming got to?

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Bloody windows. AGAIN!!!

Some while ago I regaled you with problems involving windows seven on my laptop. This story is an even worse state of affairs. My desktop that I usually use has a 64 bit operating system, supposedly better and faster.


Yesterday it refused to connect to the internet. It recognised my router but decided that it would fail to go any further.

After a search on the laptop, which is 32 bit system, and had no problem connecting, the hunt for a solution begun.

In the end I ended up on a windows seven forum and that’s where the fun and games begun. Apparently it is a well known problem with the 64 bit system in windows 7. The services used to enable the computer to enable the internet somehow become switched off or disabled.

When you enter the services area of the computer you’re given a list of about 200 services of which 2 are major players in internet connection.

At first you think that just to set them to auto, shut  down the computer, reset, and bob’s your uncle.

No not so simple. each of the services has to rely on being connected to other services or the system will not work.

As it’s the Christmas season coming up. This is the analogy.

Imagine that you have a large christmas tree with 200 lights. Imagine that every light has to connect with five others in a seemingly random order before the lights will illuminate. I was the man connecting them today.

However after all day, and pages of scribblings the desktop is now communicating.

And No, system restore didn’t work.

Time to find another operating system. 

Monday, 26 November 2012

Why we’re in the mess we are.

We’re in the age of the Zealots.

When I changed my computer a while ago I lost a lot of my bookmarks of the websites I enjoyed. I’m glad that I’ve rediscovered one, well worth a read.

John Brignell explains why the country is heading downwards at an ever increasing rate.

Imagine telling somebody twenty years ago that by 2007, it would be illegal to smoke in a pub or bus shelter or your own vehicle or that there would be £80 fines for dropping cigarette butts, or that the words "tequila slammer" would be illegal or the government would mandate what angle a drinker's head in an advertisement may be tipped at, or that it would be illegal to criticise religions or homosexuality, or rewire your own house, or that having sex after a few drinks would be classed as rape or that the State would be confiscating children for being overweight. Imagine telling them the government would be contemplating ration cards for fuel and even foods, that every citizen would be required to carry an ID card filled with private information which could be withdrawn at the state's whim. They'd have thought you a paranoid loon.

And that’s just a taster to the rest of the post.

His post covers all the usual manufactured scare stories. Smoking, drinking, salt, obesity, and you name it.

So do give a look at it.

March of the zealots

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Hamas explained

Pat Condell explains why talking to Hamas is a complete, utter, waste of time.

Saturday, 24 November 2012

So if you vote UKIP you're racist

It would appear that in Rotherham you are.

Foster parents 'stigmatised and slandered’ for being members of Ukip

A couple had their three foster children taken away by a council on the grounds that their membership of the UK Independence Party meant that they supported “racist” policies.

Just listen to the head of childrens' services try to weasel here way out of the controversy 



FIFTY SHADES OF ................

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.

Finally, I drifted off to sleep.

Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you.

Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you........ mosquito!

And you thought this was going to be smutty did you?

Friday, 23 November 2012

An Electric car

Whilst searching on line for car insurance, the comparison web site I was using, advised me that I should have my driving licence handy. (I've absolutely no idea why, as I was never asked about anything on it).

This morning I picked it up to put it away, and idly opened it up and looked to see what I could legally drive. Car,yes. motorbike, yes. Moped, yes. And that's it.

So even if I wished to drive an electric car, I would in fact be breaking the law! And no I'm never going to want to buy one of those useless pieces of green junk.

Alright my licence was obtained many, many years ago, and the wording on new ones may be different. But are they? You tell me.

It’s a dirty little secret that climatologists definitely don’t want you to know.

Just to start the ball rolling on my behalf. Here is a statement:

Firstly:            Scientists aren’t Climatologists.

Secondly:        Climatologists aren’t Scientists.

Of course I’m neither. I’m an engineer. Which personally gives me a better balance than either of these two premises.

Scientists come up with theories and climatologists refer to models.

As an engineer I distrust both of them. (I’m being balanced here). As a Marine Engineer I can’t trust either. I deal in fact. If a scientist were to tell me  theoretically, that the engine standing next to us, that I was going to start,  would give me twice the power, I would tactfully suggest HE presses that start button. (FE would head for his lifeboat).

The same would be if I was told “that models suggest”, I would exit stage left just as quickly.

In my trade, denigrated as we are, I want hard fact not supposition.

Now I’ve got that of my chest, have a read of why a satellite, monitoring solar irradiance is a cause for concern.  

The problem with TSI

And the science is settled? It’s an interesting read.

Thursday, 22 November 2012


How can the civilised world condone this sort of religious bigotry?

The answer is that it isn’t a religion, it is a 7th century ideology akin to the beliefs of the Nazis. This is an ideology that brooks no opposition. Anyone that doesn’t agree with this primitive mind-set is fair game to be killed.

And these people expect us to help them. Sheesh!

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

You think I’m stupid?


Today was the day my renewal notice for my car insurance tumbled through the letter box and onto the mat. With bated breath I ripped open the envelope to get to the heart of “What are they going to try and con me into paying this time”?

£33 pounds more to be exact, is the figure. That’s 8% higher than last year. I would consider that figure to be unjustifiable as inflation at the most is 4% (Depending what index you use. RPI or CPI). and my car’s value has depreciated since last year.

So quick as a flash I logged into a price comparison website to see what insurance there was available for my trusty vehicle.

The only trouble with those sites is minutiae of detail they need for some reason. Why for instance do they need to know whether I’m married, homeowner, have children, or the names of my cats. (Alright I made the last one up).

Any way the upshot of all this bollocks was that eventually I found a policy that matched my needs. And of course it was lower than the quoted new premium by my present insurer. 11.5% less to be nearly exact. That’s less than I’m paying now.

Oh and do read the back of the renewal notice. My present insurer had quietly added into the policy that they were increasing the excess by a whopping £300.

I was nearly caught out a couple of years ago when the insurance company renewal notice gave me the renewal cost in bold on the front, but had hidden on the back the insurance tax and VAT.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Oh dear.

Received this morning

Dear Mr FE,

Your Facebook account was recently logged into from a computer, mobile device or other location (Atlanta, Georgia, USA to be exact) you've never used before. For your protection, we've temporarily locked your account until you can review this activity and make sure no one is using your account without your permission.

Did you log into Facebook from a new device or an unusual location?
- If this was not you, please log into Facebook from your computer and follow the instructions provided to help you control your account information.
- If this was you, there's no need to worry. Simply log into Facebook again to get back into your account.

For more information, visit our Help Center here:
Facebook Security Team

I’m delighted that someone would want to read the rubbish I write on farcebook.

Saturday, 17 November 2012


Think of this guy if you're having a "bad day".

There I was, just flying along, enjoying the flight At 20,000 Ft., Minding my own business,_____


And what's so cool is they actually pay me to do this!


Hmmm... What's that strange sound? Something feels different!


Hey, why am I looking up?


Whoa here......... What the .......?? Controls aren't working.


Time for a mirror check... Hey, where's the rest of my F-15?


Uh oh, it's over there... I think I've got a definite 'Aw,
sh*t' going on here.


I gotta wonder, am I the first guy to ever experience a
'cockpit-airframe separation anxiety attack'??



OK, now it's my turn. I'm gonna be gone - soon as I find
that frickin' lower handle.


I’m gone !!!!!!

This 'incident' caused the USAF to ground its fleet of F-15's.

How about the guy who took these pictures? Just when it looks
like it's going to be just another 'average day at the office'..!

What caused the mid air break up?

The main "longeron" (stringer) behind the cockpit failed due
to corrosion.

Talk about being in the right place at the right time
(the photographer)...or the wrong place at the wrong
time (the pilot).....
For sale, one Air Force flight suit; slightly soiled!

Friday, 16 November 2012

An article with a purpose

The Daily Mail has a major article on the Levenson enquiry today and at last has brought into the open a shadow organisation called Common Purpose. Several bloggers have written about this and have been decried as Tinfoil  hatters, nutjobs etc.

I have written about this left wing group that has slithered into every organisation to influence the way the government and industry is run.

Here is some vids for background that I posted in 2009.

And an explanation of their purpose in life.

Common Purpose (CP) is a Charity, based in Great Britain, which creates ‘Future Leaders’ of society. CP selects individuals and ‘trains’ them to learn how society works, who 'pulls the levers of power' and how CP ‘graduates’ can use this knowledge to lead 'Outside Authority’.

Children, teenagers and adults have their prejudices removed. Graduates are ‘empowered’ to become ‘Leaders’ and work in ‘partnership’ with other CP graduates. CP claims to have trained some 30,000 adult graduates in UK and changed the lives of some 80,000 people, including schoolchildren and young people.

But evidence shows that Common Purpose is rather more than a Charity ‘empowering' people and communities’. In fact, CP is an elitest pro-EU political organisation helping to replace democracy in UK, and worldwide, with CP chosen ‘elite’ leaders. In truth, their hidden networks and political objectives are undermining and destroying our democratic society and are threatening ‘free will’ in adults, teenagers and children. Their work is funded by public money and big business, including international banks.

Amazing that the MSM has only discovered CP so recently. What do they do all day?

Ambulance chasers

Just thought it was topical.

Thursday, 15 November 2012

Should we go the Dutch Way ? ----------


The Netherlands , where six per cent of the population is now Muslim, is scrapping multiculturalism:
The Dutch government says it will abandon the long-standing model of multiculturalism that has encouraged Muslim immigrants to create a parallel society within the Netherlands .
A new integration bill, which Dutch Interior Minister Piet Hein Donner presented to parliament on June 16, reads:

"The government shares the social dissatisfaction over the multicultural society model and plans to shift priority to the values of the Dutch people. In the new integration system, the values of the Dutch society play a central role. With this change, the government steps away from the model of a multicultural society.

The letter continues:

"A more obligatory integration is justified because the government also demands that from its own citizens. It is necessary because otherwise the society gradually grows apart and eventually no one feels at home anymore in the Netherlands ...

The new integration policy will place more demands on immigrants. For example, immigrants will be required to learn the Dutch language, and the government will take a tougher approach to immigrants who ignore Dutch values or disobey Dutch law.

The government will also stop offering special subsidies for Muslim immigrants because, according to Donner;

"It is not the government's job to integrate immigrants." (How bloody true).

The government will introduce new legislation that outlaws forced marriages and will also impose tougher measures against Muslim immigrants who lower their chances of employment by the way they dress.

More specifically, the government will impose a ban on face-covering, Islamic burqas as of January 1, 2013.(Why wait 15 months?)

Holland has done that whole liberal thing, and realised -

maybe too late - that creating a nation of tribes will kill the nation itself.

Muslim immigrants leave their countries of birth because of civil and political unrest CREATED BY THE VERY NATURE OF THEIR CULTURE.

Countries like Holland and Australia have an established way of life that actually works, so why embrace the unworkable?

If Muslims do not wish to accept another culture, the answer is simple;


This gives a whole new meaning to the term; 'Dutch Courage'

Wednesday, 14 November 2012


It would appear that the BBC seem to want to cover up almost everything they do.

The latest is about a climate change seminar that was held to discuss reporting Anthropogenic Global warming (AGW) as it was called back then in 2006.

One interested blogger, by the name of Tony Newbery, who runs the Harmless Sky blog, happened to read a BBC report called From Seesaw to Wagon Wheel. What he found on page 40 was this:

The BBC has held a high-level seminar with some of the best scientific experts, and has come to the view that the weight of evidence no longer justifies equal space being given to the opponents of the consensus [on anthropogenic climate change].

So Tony decided to put in a request under the FOIA to find out who attended the seminar.

However he ran into a stone wall as the BBC fought tooth and nail to stop him from finding out who had attended the seminar. eventually he lost at the tribunal stage.

But this is not the end of the story.

Another Blogger Maurizio Morabito had spent countless hours searching the Internet Wayback machine and found the list. This list is now published on his blog.

There are some interesting participants who have a stake in promoting AGW:

I’m not sure why this man is there.

Jon Plowman, Head of Comedy

Maybe he was there to entertain over lunch or something.

As far as I can see there is only one true sceptic on the list. The majority have a stake in AGW promotion.

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Breaking news!

Two more have come forward to say their backsides were tampered with by a dead BBC TV star!






sooty and sweep

Sooty and Sweep say the abuse went on, with the full knowledge of BBC Management for years!

Another scurrilous rumour I suspect.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Politically correct clothing?

This notice was brought to my attention about a clothing manufacturer that I’ve never heard of.

The notice below is an appeasement notice, I would suspect is to placate those who worship the religion of peace.


My apologies to BooHoo that I’ve linked to, but surely you’re not going to get many religion of peace customers anyway, by selling this.

If I can find a shop near me I shall buy Mrs FE a Christmas present, whilst munching on a bacon sarnie.

In fact I won’t. I’ll buy from somewhere that has a non ethical policy and revels in common sense.

Go forth into oblivion.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Oh no it’s my niece again.

Happy days. The sleep depravation demon has turned up again.

Gustave_Dore_Inferno34 (1)

This time she wants me to take her to Gatwick again. Her flight leaves at 0610 on Monday morning heading for Amsterdam. That means that I’ll have to be up at about 0300 so that I get my cup of tea and 10 cigarettes consumed before we set off.

She was quite sneaky this time. Instead of turning up tonight she arrived yesterday to get the drop on me. Since then she has worked her way through my White wine, Beer,  Red wine, and now she’s on my Mount Gay rum. (The single malt is hidden in the garden).

Apart from the early start tomorrow I’ve got my eldest daughter coming over mid morning to discuss financial details of our family holiday next year. I’m sure they have colluded together so that this groggy blogger is talked into paying more than he needs.

I’m starting to think that I need to rent a permanent parking space at Gatshit as I seem to spend an inordinate time there. Thursday I’ll be there picking up my younger daughter and family at midnight, and Saturday picking up the Spawn of Satan from her return trip.

If there are no posts from me Tomorrow, then I’m probably dead. 

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Friday, 9 November 2012

Thursday, 8 November 2012

He’s cwoss.

This is vid of an interview this morning concerning our Tosspot Prime Minister who’s upset that the names of paedophile (Living or dead) tory MPs, are being touted on the internet. I feel that he's more upset, that he's  been let down by his so called advisors, than who's on the list.
I personally think that the man is shallow and is only interested in looking good. It is about time that someone told him the truth.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

My Mum

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I’ve just finished cleaning.'

2 My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7 My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I’ve told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you '

Monday, 5 November 2012

Undercover Liaisons?

After the Bonfire night party on saturday some strange items revealed themselves.

Now your host has his favourite armchair but had to give it up to the guests in the interest of being a gracious host. So the following is not mine.

On Sunday afternoon whilst sitting in the said armchair I felt coins starting to slide out of my right hand trouser pocket. Quick as a flash with a reflex action my hand shot out (years of training in preventing beer glasses sliding off bars on ships stood me in good stead), and reached down beside the cushion.

The horror. On withdrawing my hand I discovered a freshly worn pair of tights! Now I’m the only person who normally sits in that chair and I know they’re not mine, (Wrong colour) so who’s were they and how did they get there? I was the last person to leave the room the evening before. Maybe a mouse had found them and decided to make a nest for the winter. I then forgot about it.

However the plot thickens.

This morning after visiting my local shop to buy the paper and support the government with their tax revenue by buying my daily dose of cancer sticks, I found another disturbing item.

After returning home after negotiating a tortuous route as usual to avoid Attila the Hen (The school crossing lady), and negotiating the complexity of FE towers security system, I went to hang up my coat.

Quelle Horreur .

My coat hangs on the lefthand hook of a bank of four. However out of the corner of my eye I noticed something strange about hook number four.


After inspecting them my mind began to race (First time for years, believe you me), what debauchery has been going on in my home?

Your mission if you wish to accept it is to decide who the perpetrator of these atrocities could be?

Could it be:

Mrs FE

My Brother-in-law (Is he a secret transvestite?)

Me (Actually don’t go there)

Eldest daughter

Youngest daughter


Policewoman’s mum

Female friend from around the corner.

My son (Oh god No…….)

Mother in law. ( 66-1 against. You try to get your knickers off unseen whilst using a zimmer frame).

My two son in laws (Oh god No…….again).

The blond, busty policewoman, who’s last words to my eldest daughter were “Your father’s amazing”.


It’s over to you now.

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Busy Busy

This weekend I’ve been busy preparing and hosting an after fireworks party on Saturday night. All went well and of course I’m now broke due to the drink consumed. (Bastards).

Today was also busy as we were celebrating my Mother In Law’s 91st birthday (Bless her).

I’m here imbibing from my secret reserve stash of whisky. I could write about something of great interest, or just amuse myself with a joke. The joke wins.

A magician was working on a cruise ship.
Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's' parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day...  And then 2 days.  And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"OK, I give up. Where's the fuckin' ship?"

Friday, 2 November 2012

Thursday, 1 November 2012



I’m not sure how many of you have seen the shit film by Josh Fox (This link leads to the Wikipedia entry about him. I wouldn’t give him the oxygen of publicity by linking to his film. If you want to go there, that’s up to you)  purporting to show, how drilling for shale gas is allowing gas to rise into the drinking water aquifers.

The video below shows the real story of how Fracking for gas is not the demon it was portrayed by the ecomentalist loons.

Her story:

Flammable faucets. Top-secret chemicals. Sick livestock. Ominous voice-overs. Grainy video. And that banjo … that incessant banjo.

Shelly had seen and heard enough.

Is hydraulic fracturing — one of many key processes used to produce America’s enormous reserves of natural gas — as unsafe and environmentally ruinous as some have said? The way Gasland director Josh Fox tried so hard to portray it on HBO?

Shelly certainly had a stake in the answer. A teacher by trade from rural northeast Pennsylvania, Shelly lives with her husband, four children and granddaughter on a farm that’s been part of her husband’s family since 1890. Of course, that farm also happens to sit atop the Marcellus Shale, one of the largest natural gas fields in the world. If accessing those resources wasn’t safe, she thought, then neither was her family. She owed it to them — and to herself — to find out the truth. After all, wells were being considered for her property.

Dispatches from the Real Gasland

If only our government would step back and see how dire our energy requirements are going to become in the next few years and realise that Fracking for gas and oil may just help bring about the saving of our economy.

I’ve posted this before. We just need to get a move on.

Hidden logos



Do you see the arrow between the 'E' and 'x'?
I had never noticed this before.


Probably the world’s most famous bike race..
The 'R' in 'Tour' is a cyclist and yellow circle front wheel of bicycle.


Arrow probably means Amazon has everything from A to Z!


There is a bear if you look closely at image of Matterhorn.
Toblerone chocolate bars originated in Berne, Switzerland, whose symbol is the bear.


See the gorilla and lioness?

A bus station is where a bus stops..
railway station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........*

*Nothing to do with the above Logos whatsoever