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Thursday, 14 January 2010

Trolling for beginners

Amazing what you find on the web.

This from the Beeb:

Guerrilla Warfare for the Online Generation – Trolling For Beginners

Before you begin, you'll need to make sure you're properly equipped. As you're reading this Entry, you'll have access to either an internet-enabled PC, or some sort of internet-capable mobile phone. Excellent! You are now fully equipped to start your campaign of terror. So let's get this show on the road.

The first thing you need to do is identify your target. Don't worry, this won't involve any thought, intelligence or consideration on your part – just a dictionary and a search engine. Open your dictionary and pick a word at random. Let's say it's 'kittens'. Now head over to your search engine and put in your topic, along with the word 'forum'. This should (hopefully) take you to a forum populated with people who are completely besotted with your word1.

Great. Now set up a username. Make sure this is as offensive as possible, as you'll never be using it again. Now click onto the most innocent looking thread you can find and post one line of absolute drivel railing against whatever topic the posters on your target board are for. Don't worry about spelling, grammar or lucidity – and make sure you use at least five exclamation marks to get your point across. You should end up with something that looks like this:

I Like Kittens Introduction Thread
Kittenz-R-well-pants says:
I luv dogs!!!1! In fact the only fing that kittenz are good 4 is ffeeding 2 my rottwiler!!!!

Congratulations, you've taken your first steps into a much more irritating world. Now log out and abandon your diabolical alias – that way they'll never find you. Hit and run, that's the beginner's motto. Dive headlong into someone else's conversation, derail it completely and melt back into the shadows before you can be hit with a devastating riposte. Rinse and repeat with a number of forums until you feel comfortable enough to move onto moderate trolling.

More article of trivia can be found here.

What a riot.

I haven't a lot of time for the modern day police "service", but I had to chuckle at this article.

Police officers filmed using riot shields to sledge down a snowy hill while on duty have been reprimanded.
We should all be able to have a little fun occasionally.

Linked to the article here. Includes film footage.

Pat Condell has a fireside chat about Anjem Choudary

Way to go Pat!

He certainly says what a lot of us are thinking.

Shamelessly knicked from Tory Totty.

Labour's Pledge card for the Election.

Sounds about right to me.

H/T to the Red Rag

And they came for the drinkers

Here we go again.

Minimum prices for alcoholic drinks would be set by the Government under radical plans being drawn up to cut Britain’s growing binge-drinking problem.

They're even admitting to intend to use the same tactics as they did on smokers:

He compared the emerging alcohol policy to that involving tobacco – which led to a sharp increase in cigarette prices and a ban on smoking in public places.
I will not vote for any party that contemplates more of this bullying. And yes, that includes your party Dave.