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Friday, 31 December 2010

Are we there yet?

Why do we have this obsession for seeing the new year in? It’s going to happen whatever we do. About now I’m sick of seeing mediocre acts on Jool’s hollands Hootenanny and would prefer to just disapear up to bed with a cup of horlicks, and jump into bed in my winciette pyjamas and a hot water bottle. (I made that last bit up).

Instead I shall nurse another large drink until midnight, and then slink quietly off to my slough of despond in the hope that I’ll wake in time for lunch.

The End

of 2010.

I’m off for a few scoops so all remains is to wish all my readers:

A happy New Year

And mind how you go, and think of the Cheeeeldren.

Thursday, 30 December 2010

A mess



I’ve been tagged by Man Widdicombe to describe my *ahem* work station. This was on the instigation of Dick Puddlecote who started this interesting diversion from the mundane pastime of Ranting Blogging.

Now my desk is an Ikea table set against the wall in my Kitchen so as to be out of the way. I’ve been meaning to move it to one of the bedrooms since the kids flew the coop, but never got around to it.

Not to waste any time, here is my description of my blogging pit.

A computer obviously, situated under the table.

A monitor and keyboard.

A portable hard drive

A camera.

Satnav. (To navigate through the junk on the table).

Two debit card readers. Legal, before you ring the Plod.

2009 diary. I must get around to throwing that out.

A pile of paperwork which I must look through someday.

Order of service for Mother’s funeral. She died recently. (Three years ago).

November’s Parish magazine.

A shredder.

A sealed tin. Containing God knows what.

A cylinder of computer wipes.

Three Christmas crackers.

Piles of used and unused CDs, DVDs, and a floppy.

? (Whatever it is, I hope that it’s dead).

Ashtray(Full). Note to self. Must get a bigger one.

Ciggies. Bugger where’s the lighter gone.

One printed picture entitled “Submarine racing,exciting to watch”

A Christmas card from the Indian Takeaway.

That’s about it. I think.

I would like to nominate Fuel Injected Moose and Mummy Long Legs. lets see what they’ve got in their Blogging pits.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

The swine are at it again.

Not content with the Debacle of last year’s attempt to frighten us, the politicos are at it again.

A ‘perfect storm’ of winter illness will batter Britain’s health services today.

Hospitals will be pushed to breaking point by a post-Christmas deluge of patients suffering from flu and the winter vomiting bug.*

Accident and emergency departments are bracing themselves for a surge of referrals as GP practices open for the first time after the extended bank holiday weekend.

They are also expecting high numbers of elderly patients to be brought in as they are visited by care workers for the first time in four days.

Soaring levels of both seasonal and swine flu will heap extra strain on hospitals already dealing with cases of the sickness bug norovirus, which usually peak at this time of year.

Remember last year when they predicted that thousands would die from the flue? What was the result? No more than usual.

Look you twats. Give the people the real information rather than “suggest” an outcome. What about some good news. Such as: “The Filthy Engineer has survived another festive season.”

This is scaremongering at it’s worst.

And I have been endowed with this most noble award


*Probably in my case, caused by imbibing too much of the demon drink*

Charity giving is up to me.

They never seem to be able to stop hectoring us, can they?

Cashpoint users will be encouraged to donate to charity every time they withdraw money, under Government plans to encourage a more ‘giving’ society.

Shoppers could also be asked to make donations whenever they make a purchase, on the high street or online.

As far as I’m concerned what I do with my money after the Government has reduced me to near penury, is up to me.

Mr Maude said it was a key part of Tory plans to encourage a ‘Big Society’ in which communities provide more services themselves instead of relying on central government.

As I wrote in a previous post, I don’t want to be part of your “Big Society”. I just want to be left alone from the “Nudge” policy being used by those in power over us.

Where’s all this charity money going to go I wonder? Most likely to those Taxpayer funded fake charities such as ASH who just like to make my life a misery.

On a personal note.

Just Fuck Off and leave me alone.

Monday, 27 December 2010

Kill the kids early

Last night I struggled through the snow to keep the spongers my children in booze. Most of them and their hangers-on's  fiancées, husbands, etc, left before I could shame them into contributing to FE’s retirement fund.

However the hard core rump were perturbed that the wine lake was empty. Ok, being a stupid generous father, I braved the elements and visited the local wine vendor to stock up for these parasites family members.

What have they done this evening? Left the wine to die of old age and hit the Vodka, Rum, and  whisky.

I despair.

Moral of the story: Have a vasectomy at the age of about ten.

Sunday, 26 December 2010

Think of the Cheeldren

Bloody Locusts Children emptied the cellars of all the alcohol that FE bought for Christmas. Considering that FE bought £ 278 of booze on the thursday before Christmas, that’s some going. They’ve just had the cheek to complain about the lack of stock.

So FE has been forced to trudge through the snowdrifts to the local alcohol retailer and buy the following:

Vodka x 2

Wine (White) x 4

Beer. 24 bottles.

Rum x 1

I’m keeping my coat on as I expect that I’ll have to repeat the journey.

Think of the Cheeeeeldren. Bah humbug.

Friday, 24 December 2010

Oh (Rein)Deer



Next time look where you’re going you bearded old fool.

Just think of the Cheeeeeldren.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Yes. Justice has been done.

Remember the case where a woman was thrown bodily into a cell and injured. Remember how the Officer was charged but won his appeal.

However he has been dismissed from the Police. Good result I think. At least someone is sane.

Wilts custody sergeant sacked.

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

How will Santa get here now?

Bah Humbug


IMPORTANT: This message is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this message is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word "absquatulation" has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this message, although the Jack Russell next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this message in error, please note that it was your fault.

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

The small society

Why does David Cameron keep banging on about the “Big Society”? I’m much happier with my local “Small Society”.

1. My lovely Post girl who always waves and shouts a greeting with a beaming smile which lights up my day.

2. My local shop, where the staff are polite and helpful.

3. The local Postmaster who is always cheery and nothing I post is beyond him.

4. The Milkman that delivers the milk whilst attired in shorts, even when the temperature is Minus Eight.

5. The Ditsy Blonde from down the road who pops in for a drink and has me in fits of laughter.

6. Watching the local cricket team playing badly.

7. My neighbour who feeds the cats whilst we’re away.

8.  The Bin men who run down the road but will take anything.

I Could go on but this is a small society. So sod off Dave, I don’t need you and your “Big Society” I have real Society.


The cold snap may have only just bitten but Heathrow's snow team has been working for months to ensure the UK's hub airport will once again be prepared for the onset of winter.

Hidden away in Google Cache

Lessons to be learnt?

H/T to Tim

Superheroes. No. Green Nutjobs

I found a Green Nut job site whilst trawling the internet a while ago (Ten minutes). Global warming Superheroes. Their puerile mission statement:

Your Friendly Neighborhood Climate Heroes

Spider-Man made a big deal of protecting New York from the GreenGoblin. But let’s be honest: scrapping a lycra-clad gimp on a hover-board is about as gutsy as wiping a pube from the bath.

Before you leap to old Spidey’s defense, we reckon we’re free to say what we like about him. Because we’re fighting a far greater peril…

The Earth is under threat from evil forces – a deadly combination of short-term thinking and lazy habits, and an ignorance generated by twisted minds spreading doubt about the seriousness of climate science. Damn those evil-doers.

Why they should choose to do this to our one planet, god only knows. The rest of us just want it to go on, engaged in its mysterious, rhythmic flight through its little corner of the cosmos. Seen from out there, at a distance, this place must still seem such a gift.

Yet it’s being destroyed knowingly. These super-crimes are being perpetrated by the only species capable of examining life and reflecting on its wonders. Yes, the human race understands gravity, DNA and mathematics, and is taking a stab at black holes and the Big Bang – yet some of us are clearly just still dicks.

So that’s why the Global Warming Superheroes have decided to fightback. You could say we’re like the Incredible Hulk. Now there’s a hero we can relate to: a scientist turned green and angry by a near-fatal dose of gamma rays. We too have been exposed to near-fatal doses: doses of gas from idiots denying climate science. Now we can be green and angry too.

We are, however, more patient than our monosyllabic friend. We don’t throw cars around, and our suits are still intact. Luckily our nemeses’ arguments are as wobbly as a hover-board, and one hit with the simple truth is enough to knock them back to earth.

This blog will contain all the facts you need to convince yourself which side of the fight you’re on. Still, we’re happy to stand by Hulk’s timeless warning, which gains added bite when the future of an entire planet is at stake:

“Don’t make us angry. You wouldn’t like us when we’re angry…”

As for the bit where they state “This blog contains all the facts you need……………) Well Boys and Girls. Where are they?

Monday, 20 December 2010

It’s cold down South.

It would appear that our Antipodeon  cousins are having unseasonable Climate weather as well.


These are anomalies and not the actual Temps.

H/T Jonova

Have Guardian Readers changed their minds about Global Warming?

Maybe so if the comments on this article are something to go by.

The majority have been quite scathing about AGW and quite a few are slagging off the Quango that masquerades as the Met Office.

It was also interesting Today that Boris Johnson is also wobbling, and that the BBC  6 O’clock news were erring on the side of caution. Normally the Beeb would have made the case that it was all to do with man made warming.

It’s all coming apart for the worshippers of AGW.

Google Earth

Every year just before Christmas, Google Earth allows you to watch Santa’s progress across the Globe courtesy of NORAD.

Just for a change could NORAD track the Kentish grit lorry that has yet to spread any grit on my road?

Missing in Action.

grit lorry

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Ed Vaisey to be banned.


The latest saga from the Government is to stop ISPs allowing porn to be seen. A case of think of the Cheeeeldren you would think and applaud. I really think this is the thin end of the edge. First they came for the Porn watchers, then they came for the Bloggers, etc, etc. You get my gist.

Others have posted on this subject better than I could, so I’ll leave you with this gem

Seasonal Fare

My Recipe for a good Christmas lunch

No chipmunks were harmed in the making of this song

Saturday, 18 December 2010

Enough is enough

This is an open letter to David Cameron.

I wanted to believe that you Mr Cameron and your so called conservative (Spelt with the smallest c I could find) party were worth supporting.

All I can see is more and more broken promises whilst my taxes and bills soar.

Where is a proper discussion on the smoking ban that you promised? Seems to have disappeared in a puff of second hand smoke.

What is this obsession with wind turbines that is going to increase my energy bills by £250 a year? What’s that? Oh I see. Global warming has fried your brain.  How do they work with a high pressure area when there is no wind and the temperature is minus ten? How does that solar panel work when it’s covered in snow?

Why scrap the harrier jump jets and therefore end protection of our Navy for a mere £1 billion in savings when you could have scrapped the Tornado and saved £7 billion? How can you have a Navy without aircraft to defend it?

Why in God’s name have you ring fenced spending on the NHS when we all know how bloated it’s management has become? You’re abolishing targets in the NHS for A&E admission? But then you’re advocating performance indicators or some such crap. The whole idea Dave, should be to throw a layer of middle managers out, thus freeing up money that can actually be spent on care. All you’ve done is a name changing exercise instead of cutting out the cancer.

Where is the Bonfire of the Quangos that you promised?  I’ve seen more fire from a match.

Why have you ring fenced overseas spending for third world countries when we know that it will end up in Dictators’ pockets? (And of course the Indian space programme will do Nicely out of it).

Oh and where is that referendum on the EU that you promised us? I suppose that you’ve been too busy in the race to prop up the Euro? And it would appear that you can’t even put a cap on immigrants  from outside the EU now. And now the latest news is that you’ve surrendered sovereignty to Brussels. That used to be called Treason. In fact I’m sure it still is Dave.

What’s this Big Society crap, you are pedalling? I want to live in a small society where I’m not castigated for living a lifestyle that I chose. What I smoke, eat, drink, or anything else is nothing to do with government. My Lifestyle is my choice. Not yours to hector and Nanny.  (There’s a few state funded, so-called charities that can be axed here to save some money).

Why do you fail to see that the biggest gain by terrorists is the fact that they have succeeded in their aim of terror  by ensuring that draconian restrictions are now in force across the land? Detention, restraining orders. Stalin would be so proud of you.

CRB checks. What have these achieved? All they’ve done is stopped people like me from volunteering to help vulnerable groups, due to the fact I prefer the tenet of being innocent and guilt has to be proved. (And no. I’m not a paedophile).

Bye the way when are you going to repeal that Human Rights act you kept banging on about earlier in the year? You’ve gone very quiet on that one.

I could go on, and on, and on……………………………………,and on.

I like many others are losing their patience with your left of centre government, which to me, seems to have the same objective as the last one. just to have power for power’s sake. After all, you’re comfortably off with your millions. Of course you could use some of that to help pay of the national debt of £4.7 Trillion.

Let me tell you this Mr Cameron. There are a lot of like minded people like me that are starting to think that rebellion is called for. It won’t happen soon I believe. But it will. You’d better start brushing the dust off that civil contingencies act that the last lot brought into law. You’re going to need it

What worries me about that last paragraph, is that direct action is usually carried out by the left wingers, and I am advocating the same. Especially as I consider myself to be a Libertarian.

But then desperate times beget desperate measures. Unless the country wakes up from it’s sleepwalk, It is destined for ruin at the hands of a few powerful individuals. This link sums it all up about what we have lost. The loss of Liberty. By Phillip Pullman.

I’ve almost enough piano wire stored in my garage. All I need to do is mark out 650 lamp posts. Anyone know how many there are in Oxford street? Make a change from the Christmas lights.

I despair, as I sit here huddled up hoping that Global warming will hurry up and arrive before I’m arrested for breaking some illiberal EU made, law...

Yours Faithfully

The Filthy Engineer

A Christmas carol

With a difference



If you want to brighten your snow covered day. Read how MummyLonglegs fared this morning.

Friday, 17 December 2010


To the twat who bought a 4 x4 and proceeded to drive at 5 Mph on one cm of snow, from Sevenoaks to Hildenborough. Next time stay at home.

The Nativity as told in the Digital Era

Well it made me larf.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Wrong again.

The Met office predicted snow for the South East of the country on Saturday or Sunday. If that’s the case why have I got white stuff falling from the Sky, this Thursday evening?

That’s the grit lorries caught out then.

Huhne the Cartoon


I give you Fenbeagle’s take on him.


1 October 2010, ARIZONA | The Grand Canyon, one of the seven wonders of the world, recently welcomed home the soul of one of the witless wonders of the world. The death of a 42-year-old California man named Andrew, who was leaping from outcropping to outcropping on the South Rim near Pipe Creek Vista, reminds me of an incident in March 2000 involving a "financial entrepreneur" visiting the famous National Park.

Because of the tiresome problem of tourists farting their way into disaster, the more treacherous overlooks in the Grand Canyon are protected by fences and signs. All of these overlooks are spectacular. Some have towering columns, some have small plateaus that tourists toss coins onto, like dry wishing wells.

Make a wish!

One entrepreneur wished for financial success. And there in front of him was a means to an end. He had a brilliant, an obvious, idea. No stranger to danger, the man climbed over the fence with a bag, leapt to one of the precarious, coin-covered perches, and filled the bag with booty. Harvest time!

But. When he tried to leap back to the safe side, he went head to head with physics. Specifically, F = mg. Our entrepreneur had increased his mass, and the force required to lift himself against the pull of gravity was now greater.

The heavy bag of coins arrested his jump, and the birds were treated to a view of his long plunge to the valley floor below, followed by a shower of coins. Brilliant idea with a fatal flaw in the execution.

Gravity. More than a good idea, it's The Law.

"Jumping Jack Flash, it's a gas, Jumping Jack Cash..."

It’s probably not true but it makes a good story anyway.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Now I see the light.

If you read my last post, Good Grief, and if you delve further into the site it came from you will find this section titled Propaganda. Below are the sub plots.

Atrocity accusations 

 Hyperbolic inflations 

 Demonization and dehumanization 


 Divine sanction 


It would seem that ASH and the AGW groups have been  following these tenets to the letter.

I’ll give you the text of the first section. After that you’re on your own. Follow the links if you can be arsed to.

Atrocity accusations

Accuse the other side of committing acts of gross indecency and atrocities that will shock and show the enemy to be sub-human. (Ed. Accuse them of slaughtering thousands of bartenders through SHS. Or the Polar bears are dying in their trillions)When values are broken badly, then this legitimises extreme punishment and revenge.

  • Bombing a religious building or hospital.
  • Killing innocent victims, especially children.

It’s always for the sake of the Cheeeeeldren isn’t it.

Good grief

I was just trawling through my councils web site when I found this little gem.

9.1.1 At the outset of this topic review, Mr Peter Moore, KCC’s Environment Strategy Manager, suggested to the Select Committee that the degree of acceptance of  climate change could be likened to the stages of ‘the grief cycle’.

9.1.2 This cycle details the stages of emotional response that an individual goes through over time in reaction to bad news175. This cycle begins with paralysis, progressing through denial and anger and ultimately to acceptance and the desire to move forward constructively.

9.1.3 Members of the Select Committee each began the inquiry at different stages on this cycle but ended it with clear and unanimous acceptance that climate change
above and beyond that which can be explained by natural variation is happening and accelerating and that human activity is, at least in part, responsible. This is matched by a desire to ensure that KCC and Kent as a whole move rapidly towards a constructive, appropriate and adequate response to the many challenges which climate change represents. All Members of the Select Committee hope that the considered recommendations in this report will drive KCC and Kent to achieve this.

Now my reader might wonder why I’m writing about this. You’ll see in the above text the number 175. This a link to an external web site of which I’ll give you a little excerpt.

The Kübler-Ross grief cycle


For many years, people with terminal illnesses were an embarrassment for doctors. Someone who could not be cured was evidence of the doctors' fallibility, and as a result the doctors regularly shunned the dying with the excuse that there was nothing more that could be done (and that there was plenty of other demand on the doctors' time).

Elizabeth Kübler-Ross was a doctor in Switzerland who railed against this unkindness and spent a lot of time with dying people, both comforting and studying them. She wrote a book, called 'On Death and Dying' which included a cycle of emotional states that is often referred to (but not exclusively called) the Grief Cycle.

In the ensuing years, it was noticed that this emotional cycle was not exclusive just to the terminally ill, but also other people who were affected by bad news, such as losing their jobs or otherwise being negatively affected by change. The important factor is not that the change is good or bad, but that they perceive it as a significantly negative event.

Strange to use a paper on grieving as your rational for tackling Climate change. I’d like to give em grief over the amount of MY tax their wasting on this tomfoolery.


The things you overhear.

It happened in an Underground station in London .
There were protesters on the concourse handing out pamphlets on the evils of Britain .
I politely declined to take one.
An elderly woman behind me was getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely> declined.
The young protester put her hand on the woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, 'Madam, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?'
The elderly woman looked up at her and said, 'My dear, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea and my grandson in Afghanistan . All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your arse and open it.'

That would be my mother’s sentiments if she was still alive.

Monday, 13 December 2010

Kent PCT Update

I’ve just added a touch more to my letter to the anti smoking brigade which was the subject of my last post. Here’s what I have tacked on:

Point Four:

The fact that anti-smoking has strong financial ties with pharmaceutical multinationals – to the point that it can be said to be a front for the expansionist interests of Big Pharma – demonstrates a double standard and duplicity in public life that has yet to be fully investigated and called out by mainstream media and politicians.
There is massive profit to be had from the sales of nicotine replacements and psycho-active drugs if tobacco and especially cigarettes were to be abolished. It is not a coincidence that the sales of these pharmaceutical products – many dangerous in their own right -- have skyrocketed since the early Nineties, in parallel with the intensification of antismoking propaganda, disinformation by the mass media, and the heavy financing of antismoking groups such as, for example, Tobacco-Free Kids, ASH,and the Global Framework.

Point Five:

I would also imagine if tested in court this policy could in fact be in breach of the Human Rights Act, Article 14, which states:

Article 14: Discrimination

The enjoyment of the rights and freedoms set forth in this convention shall be secured without discrimination on any ground such as sex, race, colour, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, association with a national minority, property, birth or other status.

Anything else I should add?

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Kent PCT to deny treatment to smokers.

My letter that I’m cobbling together to write to Kent PCT

I read with some disquiet that you will be forcing all smokers to undergo a "Smoking Cessation" course before they are allowed an operation.

From the article in Kent News I quote:

From this month, patients who smoke and need planned surgery will have to complete a NHS Stop Smoking course before their operation.

My first point in objecting to this is as follows:

To me this breaches the whole Ethos of the National Health Service. Where is “Universal healthcare we were all promised?” I would ask you this question? If I refused to undergo the course, would I be refused surgery?

My second point is:

Considering that the total cost of all smoking related diseases is £2.7 Billion, (Government's own widely known figure) and smokers pay through taxes, more than £10 Billion. It would appear that smokers adequately cover the costs of their treatment. In fact it would seem that smokers are subsidizing the cost of non smoker treatment.

Point three:

If you refuse treatment to a smoker who has paid National Insurance for his entire life, but offer treatment to a non smoker who has paid no NI. Should not the smoker be entitled to a refund of part of his NI contributions?
It would seem to me that this is nothing more than social engineering which should have no place in a TAXPAYER funded PUBLIC institution.

And finally you could cut your costs by binning smoking cessation therapy which has been a disastrous failure. I can think of no enterprise with only a 1.6% success rate, (Government figures) should be tolerated in this Financial climate we find ourselves in.

With no Regards

The Filthy Engineer.

Anyone got anything I should add?

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Sold out

Looks like we’ll be forced to hand over billions more in taxes if Huhne and Cameron get their way.


Don’t they realise that it is NOT and never will be THEIR money that they’ll be throwing away. Some of it’s mine, You TOSSERS.

Mind you it’s always been about the building of a new power base revolving about carbon.


climate change poster

Need I say more?

And this is warming?

Hail in South Africa? In their summer? This event happened just a week ago on the 2nd of December. Funny that it wasn’t reported in the MSM.

I just wish this had happened in Cancun.


More than 190 countries have struck an agreement at the latest round of UN climate talks that puts efforts to secure a new international deal to tackle global warming back on track.

So that’ll be more of my money down the drain of bird mincers, photo voltaic crap, and carbon capture then.

Friday, 10 December 2010

Friday Horror

If you don’t like spiders, look away now.

How not to catch one.

The remark by the child is priceless.

I Want one of those

It would appear that the Russians have a  low tech version of the predator drone.

Police in central Russia are investigating a bizarre suspected assassination plot with a radio-controlled grenade launcher equipped with a webcam.


It’s even fitted with a self destruct mechanism.

The car, which had been hijacked earlier, also had two bottles with fuel inside. It is believed that the liquid would have been ignited by the firing of the grenade launcher and the evidence destroyed.

Clever these Ruskies.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Those leaks.

So far I’ve not posted about the Wikileaks as many have posted better than I can.

However I find it strange that there are large corporations trying to cause maximum damage to the Wikileak group. Paypal, Ebay, Visa, Amazon, etc.

It is odd that they feel so strongly about Tittle Tattle voiced by Governments but didn’t seem so concerned about the previously leaked Military documents. Something is not right.

*Dons Tinfoil hat*


Could it be that Assange let slip that the next revelations in January will be about Malpractice in the Banking system? Bank of America was mentioned. Has this so frightened some institutions, that they maybe implicated in some illegal practices, therefore they are trying for a pre-emptive strike in the name of “National security”?

Especially if it was found that governments knew what was happening in the banking system before the crash. It would not only be CEOs of banks that would be prosecuted. Governments could fall.

*Takes of Tinfoil hat and replaces it carefully back in the cupboard*

What do you think?

Fancy a cruise?

I used to do this for a living. Just imagine yourself in that position. Mountainous seas, reduced propulsion, and terrified passengers. Fun heh.

Let’s sing. “A life on the Ocean wave”.

Altogether now.

Note the cargo vessel trying to fire a line across. Really should allow for the wind. 2/10. Must do better.

New World order?

Are we being stitched up at Cancun?

The Secretariat will have the power not merely to invite nation states to perform their obligations under the climate-change Convention, but to compel them to do so. Nation states are to be ordered to collect, compile and submit vast quantities of information, in a manner and form to be specified by the secretariat and its growing army of subsidiary bodies.

From an article on the JoNova Blog written by Viscount Monckton of Brenchley.

Long but worrying.

Weather Alert

Taken from the web site.

Solar Climate Change Mid Dec 2010

This is a first for this site, we are posting a Public Warning for a "Winter" Solar Climate Change. Piers and I have agreed to display this information as there is potential "life threatening" conditions that will be underestimated by the media (inc. Met Office) within the next 7-10 days. With the aid of this forecast we hope to give some advance warning to those of you who are already suffering hardship and warn you of a very real risk of further and even bigger snow storms and blizzard conditions set for Scotland & England and Eastern Europe NEXT WEEK.
Please spread news of this forecast to all of those who are vunerable and try to ensure that food supplies are sufficiant to cope with this impending crisis.

Just thought I’d let you know.

This is an FE public service message.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

How strange?

Just had a look at my stats. Why would a load of stamp collecting Germans be interested in this post?

I’m not sure that I see the connection between Christmas lights and postage stamps. Oh well, never mind. I’m sure it will come to me eventually.

UPDATE: Now the French have turned up.

Questions that Cannot be Answered


1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and ” wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

An ill wind

20030924                      Picture by Ant Upton ©
GV's of North Hoyle Offshore Wind Farm
Alex Tritten and Jo Wilson
This image is copyright Anthony Upton 2003©. 
+44(0) 207978 1459 and the author is asserting his full Moral Rights in relation to the publication of this image. All rights reserved.
Rights for onward transmission of any image or file is not granted or implied.  
Changing or deleting Copyright Information is illegal as specified in the Copyright,Design and Patents Act 1988.

I’ve written before on how much renewable energy is becoming the most expensive form ever.

It looks even worse than I thought when I read this:

The UK has doubled its efforts to check the spiraling cost of offshore wind. A UKERC report published in October noted that in the last five years costs in the offshore wind sector have escalated dramatically, with capital costs doubling from approximately £1.5m/MW to over £3.0m/MW in 2009. The report noted that, as of June 2010, capital and energy costs peaked at approximately £3.0m/MW, or £150/MWh. Through funding, new test facilities and initiatives to flush out the most innovative ideas to address the costly challenge of deepwater, far shore wind, the UK hopes to curb these costs.

It looks like we are  shovelling more than just snow at the moment. £50 notes by the look of it.

Though it does look like one of the moneygrabbers is having trouble.

This year Vestas, the world's leading turbine manufacturer, posted first and second-quarter losses and cut its 2010 earnings outlook as customers delayed orders. In October, Vestas announced that  European market growth in 2011 would "not live up to Vestas’ expectations", prompting the company to consider closing down of a number of factories, primarily in Denmark, where its says costs are highest.


It’s not only Nigerians that are scamming, it would seem.


Anyone want to buy some carbon?

Scam artists from around the world, capitalizing on lax regulations at the Danish emissions trading registry, have made off with an estimated $7-billion over the last two years, according to Europol.

H/T to Financial Post



An Irishman telling it like it is.

A wunch of bankers.

H/T to Grandad

It’s starting.

It looks like the war against smoking and having a higher BMI has started in my area.

Starts at 1:10 mins in.

The laughable thing is that the hospital the reporter is standing outside is one of the worst Hospitals in the country.

Monday, 6 December 2010


The silly old Christmas Duffer forgot to look. That’ll teach him to eat all my mince pies, drink my sherry, and block my chimney last year.


Is there a skyway code anyone?

Sunday, 5 December 2010

My House


I like the music though. Can anyone tell me what the piece is?

I’m back.

Just back from visiting Master FE in the frozen norths of Durham.

Whilst in the South of the country we had our fair share of snow which is now melting, not so ooop North.

When I left the son’s road, it was still four inches of packed snow and still bitterly cold. Some reports say that it might take till the new year to clear.

But then again we’re bound to get a quick snap of global warming to clear it away so I’m always being told.

Am I being too cynical?

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Make this Global Warming stop.

I’ve dug out the path to the garage four times, to enable passage to the freezer.

I’ve de-snowed (Is this a new word?) the car twice.

I’ve cleared the drive twice. (Using the slave labour of Mrs FE).

Run out of milk.

Run out of bread ( I could have killed the couple who came out  of the local shop with eight loaves this morning. I hope they are all stale by tomorrow morning).

My gas and electricity dials are turning faster than a whirling dervish on heat.

The only consolation is that I’ve enough booze and fags to last me through the night. (The booze and fag police won’t be able to get through the snow).

Ho Hum, could be worse I suppose.

In the spring I intend to experiment in adapting the lawnmower into a snow blower.

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Christmas present.

The way the snow is falling now, I’ll buy Mrs FE a bigger shovel.

I’m not happy

I decided to test my happiness on The Happy Planet site. I expect a knock on the door any minute now from Cameron’s happy police. Below are a few of the results.

Sustainability Score

Your personal Happy Planet Index(HPI) is 0.

This is well below the UK average of 40.3 and is not far off the estimated HPI for Zimbabwe of 16.6. Sorry. There are however lots of ways that you can improve your score which will be contained in the rest of this feedback.

The tips and advice below may be useful for you. The websites referred to are all based in the UK, but should be relevant for anyone living in a wealthy country.

You: 0

Average: 54.1

Life Expectancy

You: 44.2

Average: 86.1

Better still

Ecological Footprint

Your ecological footprint is 4.98 global hectares, or 2.77 planets.

Do go and give the survey a try.

*I might have been slightly economical with the truth when answering the questions.*

How long is a Flurry?

The BBC weather reported that deepest Kent would have a flurry of snow today. How can seven hours of continuous snow be a flurry?

30 cms of the stuff and it is still flurrying.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Flurry may refer to: A snow flurry; that is, a brief snow shower